It Never Seems To Get Any Easier

           There were days, I'm pretty sure, when we were young and invincible. When we we couldn't wait to grow up and futures held the promise of shiny new possibilities. Nothing could hurt us, hold us, or stop us. But I wasn't prepared for the realization of just how vulnerable we really are. We grow up and meet those shiny futures, true. But growing doesn't come easily. We realize that our safety nets are slowly growing smaller and smaller, the paths we set for ourselves become narrower and narrower. Suddenly "house" isn't just a pretend game anymore, and the "bag guys" become real. There is no time outs or do overs.  I had always been told life wasn't going to be easy, and to not be in such a rush to grow up.. but I always thought as long as I had family and friends, we'd all be fine. No one told me that sometimes, life takes you out at the knees and takes a family member or friend too.
             Standing in the back of O'Connor Mortuary this morning, an old, fuzzy memory slid into focus. I was maybe 8, and sitting in the back seat of a car with my friend Jaz. She was talking about a friend she had who passed away over summer. I didn't understand what she was talking about, so I asked where she went. "She died of cancer," she told me. Jaz stared out the window and we both sat in silence. I couldn't grasp this concept,
            " That can't be right, friends don't die. Friends aren't supposed to die."   
I didn't know then, that I would lose a friend I had known since I was born almost 6 years later. I didn't know I would continue to lose 8 more friends over the coming years. I didn't think that 13 years from that afternoon in the backseat with Jaz, I would be in attendance at my friend Brett's funeral. The older we get, the stronger we become.. and we all understand that death is a part of life, but losing friends never seems to get any easier.
              I met Brett freshman year of High School. We weren't the closest, but we were friends all the same. I don't think I have a single memory of him that he isn't smiling in, and thats the way its going to stay. Its the memories I have of him cracking everyone up in class and cheering him on during football games. Pep rallies, dances, graduation. The talks we had in random tutorials or the simple "Hey!" in the hallways. The hilarious, athletic, brilliant guy who's heart of gold and handsome smile won't ever be forgotten. Brett touched so many hearts, maybe without even realizing, that there was only a little standing room at his funeral today. The whole building filled with prayers, hugs and tears, friends and family.. everyone with their own story or memory. You've touched so many lives Brett, mine included.
                I still can't believe you aren't here with us, but you've been lead in by angels and are now with Jesus, watching over us. Rest in peace Brett, we'll see you in Heaven ♥

Rest In Peace Brett Alan Weiner

January 30, 1990 - December 23, 2011